Kink, BDSM and eroticism have long been a practice that Black, Indigenous, People of Color, Queer individuals of various orientations are actively engaging in. It is no surprise that the practice of the erotic and its BDSM/kinky community have always been engulfed with shame, cliche and taboo in our society that is historically bred to worship patriarchy. Confused with pornography, the nuance and power of eroticism in kink and BDSM practices are stripped down from its fullness that is rooted in pleasure and liberation.
There are so many misconceptions about BDSM and kink that are fueled by the limitation of heteronormative thinking. We are so quick in judging and rejecting anything that is different from what we perceive to be true, when most of our truths are merely illusions designed for our unwell being. The actual system in place used to instill certain ethics and morals upon our daily lives is extremely kinky. The only aspect that makes a huge difference between kink and real life operating systems is consent. Think about how often in our everyday life we make decisions we are unsure of, we do not have much say in, and are not really serving our desire. A system that imprisons desire with force by taking away power from its people is not kink or BDSM; it is oppression. But here we are, normalizing oppression and shaming kink and BDSM. We live in a society that is terrified by our own desire for freedom, yet we perpetually seek for it. We are so loyal to oppression that we are afraid of anything that could potentially grant us liberation.
Kink and BDSM, simply put, is a library of methods, tools and instruments used to manipulate the body and mind in a way to reveal a certain set of information, done within an agreement of a certain set of rules between all parties involved. The practice of radical love is intertwined with the movement of liberation. Radical love asks us to accept and be intimate, especially with the parts of us that we learned to be unacceptable according to our standard social norms, hence are unlovable. Kink and BDSM give its practitioner a sense of agency and accessibility to explore stories that are often suppressed, trapped and estranged in the body, because of the restricting nature of how our society functions. When practiced in an environment that prioritizes care, trust and safety, it holds the power to uncover the mystery of paradoxical matters within us, many of which life has not equipped us with the language to speak about. Kink and BDSM offer us a taste of liberation: reclaiming our chaos and repurposing it into useful information that serves the complexity of being human.
Kink and BDSM practice makes room for diversity, nuances, the extremes, and the unknown. It asks for curiosity in exploration rather than rigidity in pre-existing judgment. This gives one the room to learn, grow, change, and evolve in fluidity with themselves, others, and in community. To liberate is to free all parts that are imprisoned, denied and repressed, in order to be seen, validated and celebrated. The more we are intimate with these parts of ourselves, the more we will also allow others to do so, and the less we feel the need to attack our differences. Kink and BDSM is the perfect playground to research, dissect and practice liberation from within.