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  • Xky

Kink and BDSM through the Queer lens: A Political Resistance through Authentic Sexuality.

I am a Queer, Femme, South East Asian Dominatrix and Kink Artist. Discovering Kink and BDSM through the queer community as a body of colour has been one of the most revolutionary gifts I have experienced. Self and collective liberation and actualization are at the core of my practice. Holding consent and autonomy at the centre of my practice, I refuse to engage in any exchanges that enable and contribute to the serving of patriarchal systemic power. Hold on! This does not mean that we cannot engage in consensual role play and power exchange. In fact, the majority of my work is about making power exchange sexy ;) by reclaiming it and reimagining it through the queer lens. How? Sit back, relax, broaden your perspective, and make yourself smarter, by reading this thoroughly. You’re welcome!


First of all, it is important to note that the essence of Kink and BDSM practice carries complex historical roots. These practices were derived from ancient cultures of instilling pathological power that is abusive and harmful. The flagellation practice in Ancient Rome, the Shibari/rope bondage practice in Ancient Japan, were practices created and perfected with the intention of instilling torturous violence and complete removal of one’s human agency.

There is an undeniable diverse intersection between Kink/BDSM and queerness, as they both encapsulate the ‘deviant’ nature and non-heteronormative behaviours. Throughout history, these communities have played crucial roles in challenging societal norms, and advocating for the rights and liberation of marginalized groups. Kink, BDSM and queerness are inherently inclusive. It is a resistance space to systemic shame in which individuals get to decide, collaborate, and agree on the roles they play, and the position they assume. Therefore, practicing Kink and BDSM as queer individuals is radical because it is an empowering means through which individuals get to reclaim agency over their bodies and experience that were previously used against them.


As kink, BDSM, and queerness overlap and evolve, the old traditional principles from which kink and BDSM came from naturally, cannot exist. Consent and autonomy are the pillars of modern kink & BDSM practice. This is very different from the problematic ancient torture culture that is based on control. Kink and BDSM informed through the queer lens is the future, as it is a reimagination and reclamation of our relationship to power: one that is rooted in the utopian dream of collective healing and liberation, one that is challenging the false sense of power based on control, one that is free from the boring predictable presumption of binary roles, one that is possible but not yet instilled. Hence, the pervasive nature of the mainstream heteronormative view of sexuality is not a prerequisite, in fact, a hindrance, to authentic sexuality; because it upholds the outdated fantasies with pre-existing roles and retributions that are defensive, and lacking in inspiration, life, and credibility.

Rules are to change and evolve with us. Any agreement that cannot be challenged on its validity is meant to uphold a certain set of rules and values that only benefit and protect a few at the cost of many.


NOTE:

Discussions on BDSM and queerness can vary based on individual perspective, cultural context, and regional differences. Not all individuals within the LGBTQ+ community or the BDSM community necessarily identify with or engage in both. This does not change their validity as members of the community they identify with. Queerness is not inherently sexual in all contexts.

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